Today I'm enjoying a rare and wonderful 3-hour Rachel nap. 3 hours and counting, I should say. Wow! Natalie never napped like that. (Mommy! Don't compare your kids! Oops.)
Natalie is napping, too, and I just realized I have neglected my blog of late. It's been because life is that stinkin' busy. Things got really, really hard for a while. I got pretty depressed. I got to a breaking point, where I was saying things like, "I hate my life" to my husband as he was getting ready for work one morning and the girls were both crying. I finally cried, and cried every day for a couple of days.
Then I officially pulled Natalie out of Mother's Day Out and hired my mom to come over a couple days a week. So far we are still only beginning that transition, but Natalie already knows and loves my mom, so that helps a lot. I think the challenge there is going to be my mom's availability, but I'm starting to feel better even about handling the girls all week, every week, by myself. Even if I have to do it 11+ hours a day.
Natalie is still getting over this spike of separation anxiety that school and daddy's new job brought on. At the lowest point she would burst into tears if I so much as left the room. I finally made myself compromise on the TV thing--she gets to watch TV if I have to be alone in the other room with Rachel (to nurse or help her down for a nap.) TV is Cinderella (still mixed feelings about it, but she's already seen it so many times, I figure the damage is done) or one show a day on Nick Jr, now that we got cable back. We got a land line, too.
Rob and I are going to start the search for a second car in earnest soon. We'll be looking at SUV's and minivans. I don't know what we'll do with the girls while we test drive. Can we get away with bringing them? Can we get away with leaving them with my parents for a few hours? We shall see.
Anyway, we're two weeks out of the last day Natalie went to school, and I'm finally feeling better about the whole situation.
We also had a little bit of rain, two days in a row, and clouds for several days, which brightened my mood considerably. I think I have some sort of reverse seasonal affective disorder. The kind that's only possible when it's this hot and dry for this long. My soul needed rain and clouds.
My dear brother Geoff came over and spent his Friday morning with us last week. He talked to me a little about his meditation practice, and it sounds like something I would benefit from greatly. Now to decide when I'm going to get around to it...
Anyhow, I've got my older child back (mostly), the weather's turning nicer, the money's coming in and my youngest is sleeping a little better. So I'm sleeping better. Life is good again.
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