Happy Hump Day, everybody. Although I know it hasn't been an especially hard week, for some reason I'm feeling more burned out than usual.
Rachel is now five months old. She is newly able to sit without support for a few minutes, which is exciting, but I think perhaps it's making her impatient for more mobility. She can lean pretty far forward before she slumps off to the side and quickly gets upset. She still seems to be teething a bit, no teeth yet of course. She's taking a long time to get to sleep at night, but fortunately doesn't stay awake any longer than it takes to feed during the night. Last night I think she actually spaced out her wakings/feedings to maybe every 2-1/2 hours instead of 1-1/2 to 2. I don't know because I don't have a clock in the room at the moment. She even slept in until 7:45 when Natalie woke her up. In spite of this, I still felt very groggy upon getting up for the day.
My lower back is very sore lately, as is my left hip flexor and knee. I hope I'm not headed toward round #2 of post-baby sciatica. At least if I am, it has taken longer to develop this time, and I'll know what to do to tame it. Methylprednisone was what finally knocked it out last time, after months and months of chiro and PT. Sometimes Western medicine is necessary.
So I love Natalie to pieces, she is a great kid and fascinatingly cute and precocious, but boy is she challenging sometimes! Lately she's been intentionally slapping Rob and me, and hitting us with toys and other objects. She occasionally goes after Rachel, but fortunately that's pretty rare. I try to calmly and patiently stop the aggression (grab the hand, toy, etc) and get down at eye level with her to verbally remind her "no hitting", but I'm losing my patience lately. I get frustrated and yell, which is totally ineffective, and if anything, only makes both of us more upset. I haven't ever hit her back, but I am tempted sometimes. I draw the line at punishing her physically. I've read plenty about discipline that says that spanking and such is misguided and ineffective at best, and at worst it stresses the child and leads to increased aggression all around.
All punishment is misguided, says Unconditional Parenting. I need to re-read it, because I'm not sure what to do to help Natalie and us get at whatever it is that's causing the hitting. Part of it is her desire for more attention, but with Rachel here, it's always a challenge to give Natalie as much as she wants and needs. Some of this is probably just a question of time, and nothing we do will make a difference, we just have to get through it. But I never like that answer--I don't like being totally out of control.
Natalie also reflexively says "No!" to every request now. I'm thinking I might try some reverse psychology for a while. The Love and Logic parenting folks emphasize giving a choice between two options whenever possible. It seems to work well for Natalie when she's in a good mood anyway (not overstimulated, tired, hungry, etc.) But yes or no questions almost always produce a no. Sometimes she even says no to something she obviously wants, like a bottle of (coconut) milk.
The days are long, but the years are short, the saying goes. The days are definitely long!
My parents came over this past Sunday to watch the girls while Rob and I slipped out to the Alamo Drafthouse to see Horrible Bosses. This is the second "date" (sans kids) we've had since Rachel was born. It was great, but over way too soon! Logistically, though, it doesn't make sense to leave Rachel for longer than that. She has to eat too often, and neither Natalie nor Rachel will stay happy without Rob or me around for very long. It's not easy to get even two hours carved out for us to be a couple.
We tell ourselves we will look back and laugh, and I'm sure we will. But oh, for a solid night of sleep, more than one glass of wine, and an uninterrupted conversation!
I hear ya! The toddler discipline and their attention getting behavior is so difficult. I often feel like I'm not the kind of mom I want to be or used to be. I'm always frustrated and hate the way I sound.
ReplyDeleteEverett also does the reflexive NO! We've been doing what he says - for example, Eric said "do you want to get out of your carseat?" He said no, so he buckled him back in! Asked again and then got a yes. :) After some things like that we've gotten more yes replies. :)
The midweek slump isn't in your writing. I'm learning a lot here reading your accounts from the front line of parenting - as an uncle I'm privileged to see some of the story unfold, but there's no comparison to living the story yourselves...as we talked about before, being two seems really difficult and overwhelming. A 2-year-old is constantly confronting things both external and internal that he or she can't possibly understand yet.
ReplyDeleteCarla--ha ha, yes, we have also held Natalie to her word a few times. Sometimes she actually will stay in the stroller or whatever for a few minutes before capitulating. Sometimes she immediately wants out.
ReplyDeleteGeoff, thanks! Oh yeah, I don't envy Natalie being two. It must be frustrating, scary and exhilarating. I don't remember anything before age 3 really, but I do remember turning 3 and being pretty happy about it. I think maybe it was a turning point at which I felt I had a better grip on what was going on in the world.